Awhile

It's been awhile & a lot has changed. Well what can I say? I'm constantly changing. Moods & attitude & style. Everything. This is the point in time where I set priorities. From school to drill to boyfriend. Laying out my schedule & taking it step by step. If something fails, it must change. There always has to be headstands hit in between studying my books. There must be time to see my boyfriend AFTER a good practice. If you can't cope with that , then I'm fine. Goodbyee life, for awhile I'll be busy.

My everything

He puts me through hell , but damn I'm still inlovee with him(:

Betterday

Thanks for making the effort. Thanks for reassuring your love. I appreciate it. Every bit of it.

dear heart,

I feel you breaking. Each day you start to beat slower & slower. You force me to mend things, but I can't do things alone. You hate that fake a smile everyday. You hate that I cry myself to sleep at night. But what? What am I supposed to do? I love him. Just too damn much. I know you want it to stop, or at least mend a little bit. Make it easier to breath just a little bit. But still, I can't do things alone. You miss his heart & his kisses. You miss his smell & touch. I do too. Sigh, if only he know how much hurt we're going through. I wish I could mend this all together, but I can't do this alone.








Poem by Emily Dickinson

Heart! We will forget him!
You and I - tonight!
You may forget the warmth he gave-
I will forget the light!

When you have dome, pray tell me
Then I may staright begin!
Haste! lest while you're lagging
I remember him!

......

-- Was it because I threatened to leave? Was it because I said " I didn't know how long I could take the pain" ? You talk walk & act like you never hurt me. I like the fact your putting effort into the relationship again. But how much longer are you do that before you get "too comfortable". Best believe I have no patience for anything anymore. It may be hard to leave because you took the ONLY thing i had that was mine but hunn, I can't put up with this shaky thing.



"Love can be sickening, don't let it kill you"

the beginning

Of total exhaustion :/




First night went very well! Got one more night to go, and this is only the beginning!the season is about to begin. Excitedddddd(: urghhh. Very tired. Goodnight world.






Tip: don't jinx things! Haha sarah(:

in or out?

--Are you in or out? You don't want me to doubt? Then show me you still want me in your life. Do you need me or not? You say you miss me taking care of you then come see me more.. I can't do this nemore. The crying. The doubting. The overthinking. If you won't love me the way I wanna be loved, then someone else will.







"Sometimes good things don't last forever"