......

-- Was it because I threatened to leave? Was it because I said " I didn't know how long I could take the pain" ? You talk walk & act like you never hurt me. I like the fact your putting effort into the relationship again. But how much longer are you do that before you get "too comfortable". Best believe I have no patience for anything anymore. It may be hard to leave because you took the ONLY thing i had that was mine but hunn, I can't put up with this shaky thing.



"Love can be sickening, don't let it kill you"

the beginning

Of total exhaustion :/




First night went very well! Got one more night to go, and this is only the beginning!the season is about to begin. Excitedddddd(: urghhh. Very tired. Goodnight world.






Tip: don't jinx things! Haha sarah(:

in or out?

--Are you in or out? You don't want me to doubt? Then show me you still want me in your life. Do you need me or not? You say you miss me taking care of you then come see me more.. I can't do this nemore. The crying. The doubting. The overthinking. If you won't love me the way I wanna be loved, then someone else will.







"Sometimes good things don't last forever"

better days

I've seriously have had better days than this. This is by far one of the lamest days this school year. Getting cut from co-ed medley sucks a lot :/ Especially when I want it so bad. And my partner can't even come to practice -_- But I guess its okay because I have two more years. Blaaaah O_O







-- WARNING : Be careful of what your getting yourself into. Because someday you just might find yourself to deep in and there's no way out.

Torn

Gahd, wtf is going now a days :/I feel like I don't know right from left & up from down. It's all making me head spin. I just want someone to set me down & tell me & set me straight. My flaws out number my achievements. I cry as much as my heart beats. God, idk what to do anymore. If you guys don't see it, I'm real good at hiding it. Everythings changing & I feel like its not for the better. I could be wrong. God may just be doing his work. Idk, I'm not quiet sure if I'm making sense now. I just want my real friends to show & the fake ones to bounce. I want my boyfriend to show if he's in for it or out. I wanna knw what's best for me. Where I'm supposed to be headed in life. But we can't always get what we want huh? I wonder if It'd be easier if I were a boy. Hmmm. Haaaa. Now that's silly talk. Idk. Life's a blur as of right now. But I gotta bigger things to worry about .. like VARIETY SHOW THIS THURSDAY & FRIDAY ! :/










" Hold my hand & lead me. Because I'm blinded by love that I'm not even sure will cure."

wooohooo

Pacman won the fight(:
It was fun to watch very excitinggggg





Lesson: Having too much pride is the biggest number one sin.

I deserve

I deserve the best, none of the boooshiii' I'm seriously tired of it all. Idk the difference between real friends & fake friends. & I should by now. There is a new year coming soon. & I'm crossing my fingers that things will turn around or at least it falls into place. I deserve better treatment, better friends, better results & I should have better standards. Prolly things would come out better if my standards are higher, because I obviously don't set them high enough.



I could have had a better day today. But it was good enough for me. Afterschool thee boyfriend picked me up & we went out to eat with Anica & Kris(: That's all




Lesson of the day, don't let the ones who don't meet your standards wander in your life. Only keep who meet them or exceed them.

finally

Saw my babyloveeee(:


That's how my day went !
Kaeeee bye(;

downnn

Internet is down so my only source is my wonderful blackberry(: haha

Hmm, I miss my bestest and I can see clearly he's in his own little world:/ whaa am I supposed to do? Urgh, he forgets who also matter and blocks everyone out.. But I needa be supportive right? I guess .. Because IM THE BIGGER PERSON


Variety show is coming(:then vegas! Omg its all so exciting! Anywhoooo, I'm jst busy busy busy byeee

relieved

It's good to know when you have problems it's fixed right away. On the edge of losing my bestest friend in the whole world made me realize it's not worth being jealous letting others take my dignity. It's better to be the BIGGER person. I find it hard to man up & forgive someone but taking the easier route and trying to erase someone completely is not being the bigger person. I'm glad Janelle & I are on the right page. I don't have to be her bestfriend again but being on the right track page with her is gonna help mine & Patrick's. (:


Today was a lazy day, had a serious talk with Bestest & Janelle
Fixed my problems with them
Went to get ice cream with Janelle
& then went to church with her



I needa start going to church every week again now (:<3

Starting over

I forgot my password to my other blogger thingy so  decided to make a new one, only because Ms. Fiona Ho made me (x

I think today was dreadful & stressful. Like everyone was on their damn period. Practice was long & everyone was in each others faces not to mention me breaking down because I was frustrated. Urgh.. idk today aint my day. But it should be because its my 5 months with thee boyfriend<3>